PERSONAL BLOG

I’ve been writing letters to myself, God, food and dead people for a long time. I guess this is what it’s like to be single or, well, to be me? Writing is a tool I’ve been using for as long as I can remember, one that I’m lost without. I wouldn’t necessarily call the periods of my life without writing “dark” but they certainly were not clear or as meaningful. The ultimate reflection of ourselves are our words on a page, they translate where we are now into where we’d like to be and, sure, it’s scary to write down everything we feel, want, don’t want and haven’t yet received - but there is liberation in getting it all out. I promise.

Read More

Dear Reader, Congratulations, you made it through the first part of the holidays! Well done! Alas, it is now time to say goodbye to 2024. And, I don’t know about you, but I plan to effortlessly step into 2025 with smiles and gratitude. What are you up to? I hate that question way less these days because I’ve learned that I don’t need to shout my way in to a new year, make a spectacle, nor create claims that I cannot adhere to.

Read More

Dear 2024, This year was big for us. Between giving up the apartment I lived in for 14 years and my hair growing so much that I can now put it in a bun without using so much as a bobby pin to catch those stray, pesky, itchy neck hairs - you came through in many ways. Thank you Oaxaca, Julie + Family, Jane + Laura, Nan, Susana, Frank + Frankie, Aunt Deb + Uncle Al, Mom + Dad for a home. And an honorable mention to smoothies, sweet potatoes, bone broth and $30 hair trims. I’ve had a lot to be grateful for, big and small. I donated the majority of my belongings and it felt special to give them away in a hope that they would be received by someone else in order to create their second chance at life. We all deserve a second chance.

Read More

Taking the time to dream a little bit can set the stage for living a bigger and brighter life. A bigger and brighter life is determined by you, your comfort, your hunger for growth and a desire to live in and leave this world better. It may seem juvenile or fruitless to have or talk about dreams, but I can guarantee you that it’s not. Having dreams expands our lives, health, and creativity; giving us something to aspire to and enjoy.

Read More

Dear Reader, Happy Holidays and Happy Almost New Year.  I understand that the holiday season and the end of the year can be a difficult time despite Christmas music, parties, booze and cheer. I’ve often been left wondering is this really the most wonderful time of the year?  When I questioned that statement, I questioned myself, wondering where to and when my childlike joy vanished. Life is, well, life, and I had to decide: do I wanna be a scrooge or do I want to at least feel the light of the holiday season?

Read More

Dear Reader, I have had a completely cranky month. Why am I telling you this? Because if anything could go wrong, come up, feel weird or be delayed - it is and it was. Have you ever gone through a period like this in your life? Even in taking my own Zen advice and that of podcasts, audiobooks and experts, I’m swimming in a sea of crank. I’ve asked the universe what it’s trying to teach me, and I’ve asked God too. The reality is that there is no answer or logic, in the moment, to our delays, pain, grief, fear and shit going wrong or haywire. Our job is to roll with it,

Read More

Yesterday, I celebrated 547.5 days of yoga practice. That’s 1 1/2 years. For some reason, I enjoy counting days better because, well, they are cumulatively much larger and hold more weight - at least in my mind. Over the course of the last 547.5 days I have experienced both pain and changes to my body and practice. Through much mental work, because I felt like a failure - that I was failing my teacher, myself and my progress, I learned to let go of thoughts that harm me; understanding that that I do not have to feel like a failure or less rooted in my practice because I have not been able to do chaturangas or full vinyasa classes lately.

Read More

It’s hard to describe how I feel about being back in NY. Knowing this time is temporary and impermanent but, then again, isn’t everything? Love, moments, seasons, the places we travel, the places we live, the feelings we feel. NY is that romance I always wanted to work out but just couldn’t, just didn’t, for so many reasons - it was never meant to be or to last. But, fuck, did it - does it - still feel good (well, sometimes). The park breeze and the sun shining on the water, knowing my friends are a close hug and warm meal away. And even with its grit, exhausting energy, highs, lows and air of expectation, promise, hope and excitement - I know it’s not mine.

Read More

Dear Reader, It’s been about 1 month since my last newsletter, and I’ve been navigating a lot of different emotions and feelings since leaving my parents house and returning to New York. In what’s felt like a whirlwind of change, I’m remembering that I am my own constant. How do you ground yourself in times of change? I’m all for discipline, process and routine - a huge fan, in fact - but am finding, much like seasons change, my needs also have to be met differently right now. Have you ever felt that way? Like your routine is no longer working for you where you are?

Read More

The first time I discovered what it meant to slow down, I was living on a small working farm in Ashford, Connecticut. I was 20 years old, 289 pounds and found myself obsessed with one of the sheep. A number tag reading 9509 hung from her ear so, instead of naming her, I creatively called her 9509. Day after day, when I’d return to the farm after a full day of working on campus, I would sit on a plastic patio chair with my journal and gaze out on to the farm. I would write until the sunset on my day, knowing I would rise at 5am to scoop pony poop and, then, shower for work. Daily, 9509 would often lay at the front of the fence, while the other sheep drifted in the field, greeting me every morning and evening.

Read More

Dear Reader, I’m not sure I thought I’d ever see the day where I’d be 44, in Myrtle Beach, SC and cleaning out my parents' spare bedroom off of the garage. Ok, I never thought I’d see the day. But, alas, here I am standing in the middle of my parents living room in a $4 Target t-shirt that says NYC, even though I no longer live there. Note: I am aware that I also look like an overdeveloped 13 year old in this t-shirt. This t-shirt, and temporarily staying in my parents spare bedroom, is a willing and conscious decision that I made in my life after leaving my apartment in Queens and going to Mexico.

Read More

If I had to describe what it’s been like to cultivate gratitude in my life, I would say it’s been a lot of work. No, really. Shifting a shitty mindset, or one that we tell ourselves is “good” to a more positive and gratitude oriented mindset is hard. Practicing gratitude actually takes 1) Quiet 2) Patience 3) Commitment to consistency 4) Praying to God, literally. Being grateful is a lifestyle, and I’m not telling you this because I’m perfect, but I am telling you this because I am trying really hard to watch my mouth, think of others when I use my words, and really feel love in my heart. How do you get there you may wonder? I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing. And, yes, I still have terrible thoughts. I even called my mom a chihuahua to her face last week when she lost it over something very small. Two hours before that I said “I’m so grateful for my mom.” Go figure. 

Read More