44 for 44
In two short days I will turn 44 years old. Officially mid-life and taking much into account. 44 is known as the number of death in Chinese numerology; while if you add 4+4 together - you get 8. And, go figure, 8 is a lucky number in Chinese numerology. We, as humans, with a logical and emotional brain, can choose to look at things as we desire - from a positive or negative perspective.
In my 44th year I decided that I am not choosing death but, rather, rebirth. And I am choosing to let luck find me along the way. May the old parts of myself that no longer serve me or anyone else fade and pass on so new life, love and opportunities may enter.
44 for 44 Reminder
Say thank you when waking up every single morning because each day is a new opportunity to learn and begin again.
Have more fun (note: having more fun does not mean drinking too much or having sex to break a 693 day dry spell; well, not unless it feels right).
It’s ok to ask for help. Help is how we serve one another while we’re here. Through help, phone calls, giving our time and being a present for someone when they’re too weak to hold ourselves up we’re exercising an exchange. And this exchange of help will always come back to us.
Order the sandwich with fries and the side of mayo or whatever you wish for extra dipping because we all need a little dip once in a while .
Do not be afraid of your body. Embrace it. Enter into a pool or the ocean like the most graceful manatee onlookers have ever seen; and then do it again as many times as it takes to cool off - and never let anyone tell you that you are not perfectly beautiful .
Say I love you more often, even when you don’t want to - because tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Act like a fool, every single chance that you get, because no one will remember anyway - or they might - and they’ll laugh if they do.
Forgive and forget. It’s better that way, trust me. Through this act you’ll develop compassion and see people’s stories are bigger than your own ego - and it’s healing.
When craving a doughnut, cake, Reeses Pieces or any other food that’s been labeled as “bad” by you or society - simply eat it and ENJOY IT. Torment through denial is only a gateway to overeating and continuing to struggle with food.
Wear less binding clothes: Anyone who wants to see you naked will be able to picture it and will love what they discover when they arrive.
Dress comfortably: This includes your feet. Sneakers are En Vogue - use it to your advantage.
It doesn’t matter what you wear on your body, feet or otherwise, no one cares but you. We’re our own harshest critics and I really do believe that, at the end of the day, true love is blind.
No one cares about how you look in bathing suit, only you do, so get up and walk to the water - feel your body jiggle and be free. Life is too short.
Someone will love you for your beautiful inside and not only for your outside. This shell is just temporary anyway.
Do things on your own as much as you can because that silence will, inevitably, teach you great lessons about yourself, others, love and time.
Every time you say “I should …” DON’T DO IT! DO SOMETHING ELSE THAT IS ACTUALLY FUN! Stop should’ing on yourself.
When you want to rest, sit down and rest. Take a nap in your underwear and eat a popsicle, everything will seem much more tolerable after you have cared for yourself in a small way.
Call out of work sick and have a day with your friends or family. Work is not saving your life and you’re not saving anyone else’s - unless you’re an ER doctor; in which case I take that back.
You can do anything you truly put your mind and heart to; but it takes action and making long lists so you can get over your fucked up limitations and do it from a healthy mental place. Get mentally healthy.
Despite your own personal track record and what you believe to be true, you are luck. But the trick is that you need to think with your heart and allow it to be open. Only then luck will luck arrive and find you exactly where you’re meant to be. Luck comes in the form of people, gestures, a phone call or a random event. Let go and let luck in.
God exists and so do miracles, but we have to believe in order to receive.
If you want to make something make it, you’ll only regret it and carry that burden at the end of your day or life. We’re here to make art of our lives, not only to make giant 401k’s that we eventually use to retire, pay bills or maybe take a vacation when we’re 70.
You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be. You always are and always will be. And if you don’t think so or don’t like where you are, start praying every day and go back to #21
Staying up late is overrated. Healthy habits and early bedtimes lend themselves to restful sleep and naturally more productive mornings.
Find some form of movement that brings you joy - not for your body or vanity - but for giving your mind the grace it needs to grow, have space, recognize its strength and find calm. Let your mind imagine satisfying movement and your body will follow.
Anyone who wants to hang out with you will make time for breakfast or coffee; and those are the best dates anyway.
Write down the words that are on your heart and swirling in your head, it helps lighten the overall load of worry, fear, life, stress and helps us find gratitude where we are.
A journal can save your life and, quite possibly, the lives of others.
Do the ridiculous things that everyone else is too scared to do; move to Mexico and see what happens - or start that journal and see where it takes you when your heart is open and honest. Then you will start living.
Rejection really is God’s protection. Someone is looking out for all of us, but we have to let go of our own control in order to experience this great presence and care.
Lust: Everyone needs a romp in the hay, but to choose to do so because you know yourself - and not to validate yourself - are two completely different decisions.
Stop after 1 drink, your body and your brain will thank you in the morning - see #24
Donate more stuff and clean out your closets at least 1x per season. Another other human will benefit and, in turn, so will you.
Live lightly and you’ll also feel lighter (I know I still have emotional clean up in aisle 5, but at least my belongings are no longer weighing me down on top of it)
Self-discipline is an important form of self-love but go easy on yourself. You can be both gentle and deliberate.
Romantic love does exist and it will find you when you’re ready. Or maybe I’m writing this for myself … love will find me at the perfect time and moment.
Stop overthinking and take action, one step will lead to the next, I promise.
When you have the choice between being right or being kind, choose kindness
Act like a kid. Here is a reminder from one of my students when I asked her to teach me something: I can teach you how to act like a 10 year old! In order to act like a 10 year old, first, you need to forget all things you’re stressed about. You need to relax, play, or gossip. Next, if you’ve already forgotten what’s making you stressed; then go ahead and start doing the things you love to do like cooking, playing or making art. Then you should forget about taking home extra work and enjoy time outside because when you’re an adult you’re usually indoors working. Finally, if you have some extra money you can buy things that you don’t necessarily need but things that you want or that are fun!
Laugh more: A friend sent me this link just this past week. He said “this reminded me of you” and I couldn’t be more proud of the woman I am - tit talk and all.
Serve your fellow humans in small ways by saying good morning, holding a door, smiling and acting from the heart - it will all come back to you because #21.
Even on your worst day, things aren’t as bad as you imagine, because sometimes we have to fall in order to rise. It’s in the comeback that we end up where we are supposed to be. When there is nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.
We only get to do this life once, so really think about how you want to feel when you’re here. How you treat others and how you want to be treated.
You’re loved, always, by someone, no matter what. It can be hard to remember that feeling, but it’s always there. We just have to close our eyes, open our hearts, and let them fill up.
With Love,
Top Titty Meat Tina
PS: May we all harken memories of laughter, joy ease, tits and time well spent - in the hearts of others and within ourselves