I prepared a mix of kale and swiss chard with onions and garlic in olive oil, alongside a series of salads. An Italian tomato salad and a spicy carrot salad - to be exact. The salmon was simply seared in a pan with salt and lime; then dressed with all of the flavors that mingled in each of the vegetables bowls.

It’s been hot. So hot. So hot that cooking has been a chore, but I knew I needed to settle down and make something besides eggs. Sorry, eggs, you’ll always be the perfect food but I’m ready to sweat for my meals. I think.

Because of the heat, the walk up Calle de Cosijopi to Mercado Sanchez Pascuas didn’t seem like the best idea for my grocery haul and I was craving fish, which took me to Mercado de la Merced. Mercado de la Merced is a flat, close, 7 minute walk from my apartment and, bonus, it’s across the street from Marisqueria El Mulle - which is where I buy fish. I hadn’t been to Merced simply because I go to markets for different reasons, but I’ll get into that in another post.

I left my apartment in my green, floral, semi tight, off the shoulder dress - airy and no bra required because I will not put on more clothing than necessary in this heat. And while some women have goals to preserve their skin, mine is to be tan all 365 days of the year. I wiped the sweat from my face and swiped under my boobs with a towel. I grabbed my two shopping bags - because it was going to be that kind of mission - and I was off. As I closed the front door behind me, I prayed that I wouldn’t bump in to anyone I knew since a braless, sweaty, Saturday morning of grocery shopping could be dangerous and embarrassing. But who am I kidding, embarrassing is my middle name, and I had already slept with the guy next door. My conscience and my reputation, also perspiring and uneasy .

The streets were quiet, calm. It was about 9am and I walked down the shaded side of Calle de Murguia to Merced. The shaded side, to avoid further sweaty, braless, embarrassment. I sacrificed my tanning time, which coincides with my walking time because I am far from water and a pool. Some days that’s the hardest part about being in the city. But it’s too beautiful for me to let it go. The buildings and colored walls that line Calle de Murguia are damaged, paint chipped, stone cracked and absolutely gorgeous. They remind me of, well, me. And you don’t find this beauty on beaches; we find a different beauty there. Beach beauty is also wild and untamed, but this is where I am now. And I’m sure the buildings would remind you of you too, because we’re all a little cracked and damaged - but gorgeous on the inside.

The one lone wild palm tree between Calle de Maria Pino Suarez and Calle de Los Libres swayed with a welcoming smile, like how a woman gently moves her hair off of her shoulder during flirty cocktails. I’ve forgotten those days, but the palm tree leaves reminded me that I was once sultry, tan and braless with reason - even if those reasons were bad for my self-esteem. I’ll let the past take a bow. This tree has caught my eye for the last 3 years, crooked, strong and positioned directly in front of what looks to be an abandoned building. She’s a showstopper; the natural beauty in the room - the one you have no choice but to look at and wonder “How did she get here?”

I felt the pain of that concha. I imagined she drank too much, went home with a man as his second choice and he said, “Concha, I’ll walk you out now, you have to leave.” She took the closest seat she could find and there she rested in thought - with her red sugar coated off the shoulder top, devoured and abandoned by one night of passion. Poor concha, you were so beautiful with your bright red confidence. ***Now, you’re alone.***

I could hear murmurs of men on bicycles selling pan (sweet bread) and tamales; the ringing of the Santo Domingo church bells in the distance. Everywhere I turned it was easy to get distracted by vining flowers that crawled up broken buildings to cloak them in their natural beauty. I believed the vines would whisper inside of the buildings cracks, “It’s going to be ok, I’m here for you, I’ve got you, you’re not naked or alone. I will protect you. I am you. I will make you even more beautiful in my vision.” Along the way, I also witnessed unintentional art installations - like an abandoned concha (sweet pan with a sugar coated topping, it looks like a shell, hence the name) nuzzled in a corner on a building windowsill.

Who would abandon a concha, I don’t know? It could only be for the sake of art; or she was left on her own after a man was drinking all night and he decided “You’re not the one for me, concha, I’m leaving you here.” I felt the pain of that concha. I imagined she drank too much, went home with a man as his second choice and, he said “Concha, I’ll walk you out now, you have to leave.” She took the closest seat she could find and there she rested in thought - with her red sugar coated off the shoulder top, devoured and abandoned by one night of passion. Poor concha, you were so beautiful with your bright red confidence. Now, you’re alone.

Maybe your story is kinder, maybe someone gulped down their morning chocolate too fast and then cast you aside while they carried their market bags home. Either way, I’m sorry. May your next suitor, or chocolate bath, be given to you by someone more careful - more loving.

Approaching the market, I made a b-line for the fruits and vegetables only to find that my friend Miguel was closed for the weekend. I visited another family of women that I’ll often buy from, picking out the freshest of carrots, calabaza (zucchini), avocado, potatoes, limes, albahaca (basil), tomatoes, garlic, onions, pears, mangos and bananas.

A quick stop for quesillo, tortillas and Christ because going to the market is like going to church; see the saints and JC above? They’re blessing every vendor and market goer. And, on the way out, botanas (snacks) to snag from Jose and Paula. I’ve missed my favorite couple. Jose greeted me with the warmest smile - chips de platanos (plantain chips), churritos (Takis but better y sin pica - without spice), pasas (raisins) semillias de calabaza frita (salted pumpkin seeds) and I was set.

I zipped across the street to the fish market who always has the best acelgas (swiss chard) and col rizado (kale). I picked up rabanaos (raidshes) too, plus my salmon - and I was off.

The truth was that I had been feeling lonely, then I recalled how I hadn’t cooked much more than eggs. Grocery shopping and cooking can nourish a lonely heart. But I wasn’t alone, I was having a moment this past week. And on the walk home I met a young woman named Eve who was kind enough to record a photo memory of my big day at the market. If I didn’t leave home to go to the market and connect to vendors, I wouldn’t have met Eve. I wouldn’t have breathed life into an abandoned concha, practiced my Spanish or smiled so much. Now I was prepared to loving cook myself back into the depths of my heart.

There would be no meal without fresh Ciabatta bread that I could smother in oil and fry. I am, after all, an Italian woman. Those of us real ones require fresh fried bread to eat with a medley of vegetables and cheese. And it only makes our butts, hips and boobs more pleasant with age. Soft, womanly.

Upon arriving home, I dropped my bags at the door and ran out to the bakery. There would be no meal without fresh Ciabatta bread that I could smother in oil and fry. I am, after all, an Italian woman. Those of us real ones require fresh fried bread to eat with a medley of vegetables and cheese. And it only makes our butts, hips and boobs more pleasant with age. Soft, womanly. I would devour it all on my own. The chopping and prep began soon after. Chopping has always been my favorite part of cooking; easeful for the mind that does not rest. My therapy. My sanity. Standing with a knife. Shhh, don’t tell whoever dates me next that my calmest moments come to pass when I am wielding a knife.

***Swimming in tiny pools of oil and acid, the carrots cooked themselves into being reborn. And while they were reborn, so was I.***

I prepared a mix of kale and swiss chard with onions and garlic in olive oil, alongside a series of salads. An Italian tomato salad and a spicy carrot salad - to be exact. The salmon was simply seared in a pan with salt and lime; then dressed with all of the flavors that mingled in each of the vegetables bowls. Swimming in tiny pools of oil and acid, the carrots cooked themselves into being reborn. And while they were reborn, so was I. Once the salmon was done, the bread was fried. Fried bread can only be eaten hot and fresh out of the pan, the salmon would live at room temperature and in its vegetable bath.

I packed my leftovers so I could be sure to relive another afternoon of pleasure. I love leftovers; what with their day old flavor after a night of hanging out in slick, oily, richness and confidence. Despite being cast away by many, I wouldn’t imagine it. I sing their praises.

And, no, I have no problem going through this much trouble just for me. I’m worth it. And I hope you think you are too. After I cooked and cleaned, I packed my leftovers so I could be sure to relive another afternoon of pleasure. Yes, I love leftovers - what with all of their day old flavor hanging out in slick, oily, richness and confidence. Despite being cast away by many, I wouldn’t imagine it. I sing their praises.

I finally sat down to read for 5 hours. Pure ecstasy, with a full belly and leftover fantasies.

Pan Seared Salmon

Ingredients
-Filet of fresh salmon (cooks quickly and I prefer it over thick, steak cut pieces)
-Extra virgin olive oil
-Lime or lemon
-Salt

Method
-Heat a pan with a drop of oil, place salmon and cook until fully cooked on each side, about 2.5 minutes per side
-Increase heat, salt and finish with lemon or lime
-Plate and put aside

Sauteed Kale + Swiss Chard
Ingredients
-1 small bunch of kale (stems removed, use leaves only, this will allow for a more tender mix of greens)
-1 small bunch of swiss chard (cut into ribbons, use the stems - swiss chard stems are more friendly and tender, they cook much more quickly than dense kale stems - this is good texture in your mix of greens)
-2 T of olive oil or more (depends how daring you are with your dousing)
-1 small onion (very small, very finely diced so it cooks into the greens)
-1-2 cloves of garlic (minced so finely you wouldn’t know they’re there)
-Red pepper flakes (optional but recommended for a kick)
-Salt
-Lemon or lime (optional for a acidic finish for some tang; I didn’t because I knew the salmon and carrot salad pairing would carry the acidic intensity I wanted as my flavor profile for the meal)

Method
-Add olive oil, onion, garlic and red pepper to a medium sized pot over medium high heat; sautee until fragrant and onions are translucent - 5 minutes
-Lower flame to medium, add greens and mix well - sautee for 6-8 minutes making sure to move the greens around the pot to soften and cook them; you want to keep them in tact and not mushy
-Add water only if and as you need - if you need it - you likely have too many greens in your pot - you should have room to mix the greens and give them space to cook/melt into themselves
-Finish with salt; lemon or lime optional
-Plate and put aside

Tomato Salad
Ingredients
-3 roma tomatoes, diced
-1 clove of garlic, crushed, peels and left in large chunks (the secret here is to infuse the oil and tomatoes with flavor, not to eat the chunks of garlic - unless you dare to)
-6-10 leaves of basil, chiffonade thinly
-Extra virgin olive oil
-Salt
Method
-Add tomatoes, garlic, a healthy douse of olive oil and salt - to a bowl and mix
-Add basil and gently mix
-Put aside and allow the juice to naturally release from the tomatoes for a sweet, acidic and oily symphony (the more time they set, the juicier this salad will be - that’s the secret to any good vegetable salad or panzanella)

Carrot Salad
Ingredients
-1-2 large carrots, sliced into ribbons with the peeler (peel the first layer of skin and discard)
-Juice of 1 small lemon or lime
-Salt
-Eyeball or 1 T extra virgin olive oil
-Dollop of spice, I used macha but you can use a shake of cayenne
-Drizzle of honey
-Raisins and pumpkin seeds to finish
Method
-Add all ingredients EXCEPT raisins and pumpkin seeds to a bowl and toss to coat - WELL
-Let sit for about 25-3o minutes, allowing the carrots to release their water and become part of the dressing. During this time the carrots will also “cook” or become softer in dressing because of the acid - kinda how lime/lemon “cook” fish when you have ceviche - same concept
-Upon serving, add raisins and pumpkin seeds

Fried Bread
-Slice ciabatta or any bread (see baguette or good italian bread) and coat with olive oil
-Salt it
-Place face down in a pan on medium high heat and fry until golden brown
-Serve with vegetables and cheese

A Feast For One