Do You Know The Muffin Man?
Chocolate Chip Muffins
A client of mine recently asked if muffins were ok to eat and particularly on a weekend because her son loves them.
My answer, absolutely. Yes and yes. All food is all good; however, the challenge may come to eating it with balance in mind. That was always my own challenge and still is. I’m not a big fan of packaged or processed foods, but I frown upon nothing for I have my first and long lasting loves like Reeses in all of their gorgeous holiday shapes and sizes and Russell Stover Chocolate at Valentines Day. I’ve remade Reese’s and Coconut Russell Stover Clusters but, quite frankly, the drugstore variety is way more delicious. I love placing my dollar on that counter for that single Reese’s and eating it on my walk home when I have a hankering. So, I advised my client to make the muffins from scratch if she had the time so she can bond with her son and bake them together, but if a box mix is used so be it. Whatever gets us closer to feeling around food.
That’s the thing I always have to question with my own habits to this day, my feelings. Am I enjoying this food right now? Am I making this or eating it with some sort of intention (even though I think the word is overused and gives me the willies)?
If feelings and emotions are attached to food, and I know this first hand from the muffin man to jars of cookie butter, I stop to question my triggers and how much I might consume to numb a feeling, thought, action, or something I’m holding. Food can be tricky like that; and I say this because food was and still can be the ultimate emotional blanket for me. Although I’m now pretty mindful of when and why it’s (a food/emotion trigger) gonna happen. Emotional eating and balance is mental ninja shit. Sorry and not sorry I cursed. It’s been 17 years of navigating balance without obsessing. How to love myself regardless of my actions or answers. After one muffin or three in a row.
I share my emotional attachment to food because I don’t think people openly discuss it. There’s a lot of masking and shame around emotional eating, binging, food addiction - and I believe talking about it and admitting to the feelings I covered with food, or the habits I had around food, make me human. I started to understand myself and be kinder when I realized I ate out of loneliness; then I was able to attach a question to it “do I like the way I feel when I eat this way?” This way meant eating alone on my couch, standing at my counter or in front of the bright light of my fridge. In those moments it supported me, for sure, but my answer was almost always “this doesn’t make me feel good.” I worked to change how I felt which meant finding a new place to put loneliness that wasn’t with food. When I can, I try to put it in writing, reading, a walk, Facetime with a friend, taking a photo of my food to celebrate a meal. But sometimes it still nets out with food. I don’t use words like healed or “I’ve stopped emotionally eating for life.” No, that would be a lie. Every human emotionally eats. We all eat when not hungry, eat more ‘cause it’s good, ‘cause we’re laughing and sharing - again - we’re human. I’ve found, for me, that it’s a habit over time - when alone - that informs how and why I do something.
See how a simple question like “are muffins ok to eat once and a while and on the weekends?” can turn into an exploratory answer. It’s a lower order thinking question (yes or no) with a higher order answer that varies for every human (key details we need to find in ourselves). Most importantly, nothing is bad - it’s simply a choice - and regardless of the answers, the most important part is loving yourself through those answers. Because the answers are in us.
Truth #1: I couldn’t make a tray of muffins without taking a bite of each one and then throwing them out. Like when Miranda eats the “I love you” heart cookie from Dr. Robert Leeds while standing over the counter and throws the remains in the garbage can. Yup, been there. That’s real life. More likely because I’ve never been in romantic love and food has loved me back, but that’s a whole other post.
Truth #2: I baked muffins and had to instantly leave my house with them and do drop off’s at friends so I wouldn’t repeat Truth #1.
Truth #3: I can now bake muffins, eat one or sometimes two (in a row because I need one warm from the oven to test and one at room temperature - two muffins Tina isn’t wholly necessary but I’m comfortable with doing it), freeze them, give a few away, feel nothing about it but the enjoyment I derive from sharing - and move on with my day. I’m fuller inside with my life right now, so I’m not numbing it with food as often. I try not to. It still happens. I’m human, not infallible.
Truth #4: An all or nothing mentality will always bite us in the bottom - from food to work to love.
So, I know the muffin man. He’s great. I dance with him. To me, his muffins taste better when shared, less so when eaten on my couch after a bad date, following an emotionally loaded conversation with family, or after a stressful day at work. They taste like nothing when standing over a counter-top with room temperature butter.
Make friends with yourself and with the muffin man. Bake a batch, hold this Tina To Table tale close. Take a few bites, stop, think, write a little bit and breathe. I’m gonna go do that now. Love your answers, your process and accepting where you are with the muffin man. I kinda think he’s one of my best friends now. We’re cool.
XO
T
Chocolate Chip Muffins
2 cups all-purpose flour
1⁄3 cup light-brown sugar, packed
1⁄3 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1⁄2 teaspoon salt
2⁄3 cup milk
1⁄2cup butter, melted and cooled
2 eggs, lightly beaten
2 teaspoons of vanilla
1 cup of chocolate chips, can sub in berries or dried fruit and nuts of choice
Preheat oven to 400° on bake
Grease twelve muffin tin or line with liners
In a large bowl, stir together flour, sugars, baking powder, and salt
In another bowl, stir together milk, eggs, butter, and vanilla until blended
Make a well in center of dry ingredients and add wet mixture to dry ingredients and stir just to combine
Add chocolate chips
Spoon batter into prepared muffin tin
Bake for 15 minutes or until a cake tester inserted in center of one muffin comes out clean *be mindful of cooking times with different ovens
Remove pan from oven and cool for 5-10 minutes and serve warm or completely cool
These muffins freeze well individually wrapped in cling wrap, then foil
Defrost on counter top or quickly in microwave, can be carefully placed in toaster if your toaster slot is wide enough :)