For most of my life, even after losing 160 pounds, I struggled with emotional eating, food addiction, stress and anxiety. I wrestled with my mind to stop its revolving wheel of worry and negative thoughts as I worked hard and tried to stay calm - from matters at work to situations at home. I longed to deeply connect to myself. I’m being honest with you because lying to myself and you will never help either of us. I know what anxiety, stress, food and worry are capable of when combined over an extended period of time. If I don’t share the truth and what I’ve learned - then how am I going to help others change or feel less alone?

Me and food have come a long way. It’s safe to say that we are now cozy friends, but I’m also human. I have a very human and imperfect relationship with stress, reactions and food; emotions often striking hard after a tough day or after I’ve had a difficult family phone call. My first instinct when I feel this way is to eat and soothe; a very old habit of mine instead of dealing with an emotion or changing my reaction all together. At this point in my journey, I’m very aware when I am going to eat as a response to an emotion, something that I’m not ready to confront or a feeling of disconnection. Admittedly, recently, after a family argument, I stood in front of the bright light of my parents refrigerator, door open, face aglow in yellow, self-soothing by noshing on a slice of apple pie without a fork after. I have popped nuts like a squirrel hoarding for winter and tossed back cheese cubes as though sampling freebies at Stew Leonards on a Sunday - you name it, I’ve done it. But as I started to understand my habits and triggers, I became aware of what I was doing and why. This awareness was my “snapback,” which allowed me to recognize that my eating was only ever a response to something I didn’t want deal with. and not actual hunger. If I was truly hungry, I wouldn’t want to grab anything I could get my hands on, instead my thoughts would be more inline with “Boy, oh boy, am I hungry! Baby carrots sound delicious!”

Admittedly, recently, after a family argument, I stood in front of the bright light of my parents refrigerator. Door open, face aglow in yellow, self-soothing by noshing on a slice of apple pie without a fork. I have popped nuts like a squirrel hoarding for winter and tossed back cheese cubes as though sampling freebies at Stew Leonards on a Sunday - you name it, I’ve done it.

If you have ever battled with food and your emotions, or simply your emotions (explosive reactions, yelling, blaming, hot temper), it’s important to be prepared with mental ninja skills in your arsenal. When I am able to mindfully respond to any situation, ask myself what I need to feel supported and act from a place of integrity and not anger, self-loathing, or numbing - it’s a total win and what prevails is a great understanding of our habits. Keeping in mind if you snap or eat, it’s ok, there’s no shame. No one is perfect, and even with as much yoga and reading as I do lately I still dove in to operation apple pie like 14 year old Tina.

The below mindful living tips, with practice, have saved me from perpetuating many habits in my life; from my anxiety, daily stress and reeling to binging, and emotional eating (think: boredom, loneliness, sadness, happiness included) patterns. Mindful living cues have helped me form a healthier relationship with myself and to feel more deeply connected to how I want to show up for me, my family, at work and the world. And, if you ask me, breaking any habit and changing any thought starts with mastering the pause or slowing down. Try these and repeat them often. I’ll be back with more tips to add to your toolbox to combat stress and protect your mental health.

Pause: When we’re tired our mind and body need rest, but often times we push ourselves to keep going, which may lead to unwarranted responses to simple tasks or yelling at the kids. It’s why sugar and caffeine often become the solution when we’re frustrated, stressed, anxious, sleepy - you name it. We want a dopamine hit. Instead of going, going, going - think of your day as go, pause, go. This method of pausing or slowing down more frequently will give you space to think and make some different choices - aka, to think before you act. When I pause I can ask myself “what do I really want and need at this moment?” It’s almost never a fight (with my parents or a 9 year old when I am teaching) no is it food. The answer is usually in a breath, quiet, connection, a little alone time, a walk or a hug.

Tina Tip: Start with a small pause before you feel a stress response coming on. A deep breath works wonders as a starting point. When I was working full-time in the office I started my de-stressing journey by sitting in a bathroom stall (on another floor) for 10 minutes until the need to implode, send a nasty email/react or eat washed over me. I’m not telling you to run to the bathroom, but if you want to, by all means do. The bathroom was also the only room with a lock in our 2 bedroom apartment when I was growing up - so I always sought solace there. Any mindful pauses will give you a few opportunities to reset, recalibrate, boost energy and check in with yourself.

Let the Sunshine In: When you feel the feeling happening or coming on (that anger or another snack) take a moment and get outside as soon as you can. Sunlight equals energy. 15 minutes of daily sunlight provides you with a natural dose of Vitamin D and serotonin. It’s a simple hack to reset quickly.

Tina Tip: When I’m at my desk and it’s been hours since I had air and light, I channel my dog (Josie the Boston Terrier who is now in puppy heaven). I think of our long walks through the park and how she loved to stop and lay in the sun. Yes, I’m using a puppy reference because I am without a child. Think about how you would treat someone or something you love. Would you keep them locked up inside all day, sending snappy emails or eating when they’re stressing or sad? Why do it to yourself? FYI, Josie never was trained to write my emails.

Move Your Body: Movement is a gift and it can put our brain in the right frame of mind to make better decisions throughout the day. If you’re at work, try taking the stairs or walking to the office instead of hopping on the train. Maybe grab the train one stop further away or park your car in a spot that encourages you to walk. If you’re working from home, get up and move - you have no excuse not to - and it’ll help curb any stress and or cravings later.

Tina Tip: I’ve been an avid walker for 22 years. When I was working remotely and even to this day, I get up every 45 minutes to an hour to walk outside during the work day too; to run an errand or do a few squats and shoulder exercises. The work will be there when you get back, I promise you. It’s the best way to stop a stress response from happening.

Connect: Smiling is contagious and it’s natural energy. So is saying hi, good morning to strangers and telling your family and friends you love them. Find energy and mood boosts in the people you surround yourself with. And make it a point to call and see them in person. Connect with yourself too. It’s ok to feel sad, to cry, to be angry, but when we connect with others we stop thinking about ourselves so dang much and we can see outside of our reactions.

Tina Tip: I’m a native NY’er and my family left about 18 years ago. I spend part of my time in NY when I’m not in Mexico - without family and single. NY can be super lonely and overwhelming. Almost every morning I connect to myself by writing, then I head out for a walk - where simply seeing people can change my mood. When I feel connected to myself and the world around me, I instinctively have different responses during the day and even make different food choices.

Listening: Music is energizing and can change our mood. So can an audiobook, podcast or other listening tool.

Tina Tip: I’m not certain what your work circumstances are, but if you can get those headphones in, do it. Listen to music or another voice aside from the one in your own head telling you to bite off Jane’s head because she changed the deliverables list … again … go be at peace for 10 minutes when you’re feeling overwhelmed

The bottom line: When you’re feeling out of sorts or reaching for a scooby snack when you’re not even hungry, try to build awareness by breathing and taking a few breaks to recalibrate and re-energize no matter where you are. In no time you’ll start making new connections to yourself, your responses and food. It doesn’t take a whole meditation session to get started. Begin somewhere.

4 Tips to Live More Mindfully, Combat Emotional Eating + Stress