As we get older it becomes harder (and harder) to try new things. We get into our routines, become practitioners of our daily habits, for better or worse, and before we know it we’re closed off to the idea of doing something new because it might … CHALLENGE US. Or, it might make us get off the couch. This means limited time to watch Abbott Elementary and This is Us episodes (that’s me, raise your hand if depressing or quirky tv was ever your numbing act of choice?). We think to ourselves, “Shit, a challenge, I don’t know if I’m up for that anymore” or “Why would I ever do that?” or “I tried that once in the past, no way.”

We tell ourselves no before we’ve even allowed ourselves to dance alongside the possibility of a yes. Allow yourself a tiny tango, friend. It doesn’t have to be a resounding yes, it can be a quiet yes that is semi-annoyed but open and courageous to the wide and wonderful world of newness. It can sound like “Fucking, fine. Ok, self, I love you enough to try this new thing because I may even end up liking it. You know, it could even be pleasurable IF I LET IT BE. I might like it so much I’ll do it again. Ok, I’ll try.”

I know, at least for me, that the challenge of doing something new is almost always fraught with a frothy layered fear of failure. I would think first about what I would lose, instead of what I might gain from the new experience. Framing something as negative before the jump, before even trying is the fail. By thinking negatively, we’ve stopped success in its tracks. But the yes lives inside all of us. And doing new things is supposed to be hard, duh.

Beginning in 2022 I said yes to leaving a job, yes to staying in Mexico, yes to learning a new language, and yes to teaching English. And 2023 resulted in a yes to freelance work, yes to another 6 months in Mexico teaching, yes to dating a 30 year old (if even briefly and flirtatiously, I allowed myself to be a cougar and ride on the back of a motorcycle with someone 13 years younger than me). And, my ultimate yes … yes to yoga.

Why did I say yes to a yoga class invite from my friend? Why did I go back the next day when I fell over on the first day of class in front of total strangers I would have to see again? Never an athlete, never on a team, never a sport played in my life. I had a laundry list of nevers alphabetized, starting with Actually you can’t Because you don’t have it in you and Can you imagine how silly you’ll look. Don’t you dare even think about being better than you are now, Even yoga can’t change you or your loose skin. Yikes. I’m sure you get the point. I was pretty mean to myself. What a bitch.

I left class on April 25, 2023 and thought about all of the times I allowed the word yes to permeate my being over the last two years and decided I was done telling myself that I couldn’t do yoga. I was tired of telling myself that I didn’t have a yoga body, that I was weak, and that I didn’t deserve to take up space in a movement class. So what if, simultaneously, my shirt rolled up while my pants rolled down in the opposite direction to reveal stretch marks and past shame to the whole class under the strength of fluorescent lights and the mirrors that covered the studio walls? So what? Really, who cares anyway? And who should care, it’s yoga. No where in the readings, from what I know, does it say “feel free to judge people and be unkind when someone is new.” Did it matter what anyone else thought, really? I was my own biggest and baddest enemy. Again, what a bitch.

I said yes because the truth was that I always wanted to try yoga as a practice in my life. It seemed like something that was aligned with my spirit and deep rooted feelings I had inside. You know, those feelings where you want to live more with your heart and less in your head. I wouldn’t let my body or thoughts on my body lead the way anymore. I wouldn’t let my negative mind stop me. That class on April 25th 2023 was hard, but I decided I was ready. Turns out that almost 9 months into practicing so much has changed in my life. Those negative thoughts and doubts no longer spiral in my mind. I’m strong, I’m committed, I’m consistent, I’m disciplined and I love moving my body in a shared space. Things I said I hated or would never do I now love. Including myself, a little bit more.

What’s something new (or maybe it’s old) that you’ve been wanting to try? Why haven’t you had the courage to surrender to that quiet yes and begin? What’s your story or the story you believe about yourself? And you can’t tell me you don’t have time. We can always make time and time can be rearranged. When we don’t do something there is always a deeper why. How can we reframe doing something new or challenging as play or fun?

We don’t challenge ourselves because

Being a beginner at anything sucks, let’s be realistic.
We’re impatient. The older we get, the more we want to be perfect as soon as we start something or we want to see an immediate result from doing something once. Dopes.
Excuses are easy and effort is hard.
Doing something new inevitably means confronting something old. It’s gonna bring shit up about ourselves, our parents, our siblings, our friends, you name it - no matter what the new task or challenge is.
When those “things” come up they can impact us emotionally, psychologically and physically - all 3 depending upon what poison you pick for your newness. Then, jokes on us, we have to CONFRONT THOSE THINGS. No more hiding under the rock.
Challenges change us, change is hard and change means growth.
Growth means leaving something behind, losing an old part of ourselves that we might have been protected by, saying goodbye to people or habits and being accountable for ourselves. Yikes.

But, here’s the truth, “Research shows that doing hard things, doing new things, may be challenging but they are worth the effort and true reward comes with effort [...] Our penchant for doing hard things that make us feel bad is what researchers call the Effort Paradox. Trying hard is costly and aversive, but it’s something humans value” (Sima, 2022) .

Yes, you read that correctly, at the core, we HUMANS VALUE HARD WORK.
In essence, I wanted my shirt to roll up while my pants rolled down in the opposite direction, simultaneously, as I moved and fell over in front of people because it was hard to show up. But, fuck, has it been worth it.

What can happen if you challenge yourself to commit to X thing?

The reward of accomplishment. YOU DID IT! YOU DID THE THING AND KEPT SHOWING UP!
Growth and learning in said field or about yourself through the process - from what you like about it, to what you hate and what you were resisting.
You’ve lost your excuses and got a grip on how you want to actually feel.
A realization that making an effort and doing hard things IS POSSIBLE.
You showed up, you see how strong you are and you now crave doing other hard things.
Proof that you will now never say never.
You might just have … FUN

How to get started and commit to X thing?

Have fun! Frame the act of trying something new or challenging with childlike joy, curiosity and love
- When I start doing x thing or taking x class I will smile, laugh, and enjoy the process regardless of my own definition of success or failure
Think about what you value in your life and why you’re drawn to it
- Health, being healthy for your kids, helping others, being of service in your community, culture, learning, food, art
Think about how you want to feel every day
- When I wake up I want to feel … When I go to bed I want to feel …
Imagine and envision what it will feel like to show up for yourself
- What does cooking that meal and sitting down to eat it feel like when it happens? How will you feel after you’ve gone to X class or taken that run? How close will you be to that value you hold so close to your heart?
Say yes to the challenge and think about it as a FUN ADVENTURE. FREE PLAY THIS SHIT!
- We stop having childlike adventures as adults because we take ourselves too seriously. Think like a kid, have the approach of a child … Cooking dinner tonight will be fun because … Going to x class or going to the gym will be fun because … I am sitting down to write because …
Imagine the reward and how you will feel when this pursuit is accomplished
- When I make that meal I will feel … When I finish practicing x activity or finish that writing or painting project I will … When I step on the yoga mat, and when all is said and done, I …

***I made friends in the process, got to practice Spanish conversation beyond yelling out random body parts, and I approached it all with the mind of a child.***

When I first stepped on the mat, admittedly, I didn’t have a vision. But as I continued to show up to a daily practice, I could see a new Tina emerging and I liked the way she stopped limiting herself. Showing up gave me a sense of accomplishment, of pride - and it was unexpectedly fun. I approached yoga with a beginners mindset, giving myself the ok to flop instead of perfectly pivoting from Warrior 1 to Warrior 2 to a Half Moon. What the fuck? I didn’t even know what my teacher was talking about and she was saying everything in Spanish. Who knew falling over could be fun and teach me how to trust myself at the same time? Who knew I’d want to look up new words I heard in class when I got home? This helped me advance my Spanish (which also, admittedly, still needs a lot more work). So, I made friends in the process, got to practice Spanish conversation beyond yelling out random body parts, and I approached it all with the mind of a child. It’s ok to fall. It’s ok to fail. It’s ok to feel awkward. It’s ok to make a mistake. Just keep going.

An adventure awaits you on the way to the kitchen, the craft table, a new class, the great outdoors, the computer or journal to start writing. Look at how happy this squirrel is, geeze. Maybe he didn’t even think he’d find a nut, but he found a nut and a magical field of flowers.

Don’t let the fear of committing to something new deter you from starting. An adventure awaits you on the way to the kitchen, the craft table, a new class, the great outdoors, the computer or journal to start writing. Look at how happy this squirrel is, geeze. Maybe he didn’t even think he’d find a nut, but he found a nut and a magical field of flowers. Maybe you’ll find your way to a dance studio, to a mat for meditation, pilates or yoga. Maybe it’s an acting class, a new language, business idea or something else your heart desires. Imagine how it will feel to do it with childlike love for yourself and go for it. Or do it like a squirrel. Whatever you prefer.

Commit to Trying Something New and Do It With Childlike Joy + Love