Newsletter Archive: Eating bread in the bathtub and the pursuit of life's small pleasures

Dear Reader,
Some people want to make love in the club, I, on the other hand, want to eat bread in the tub. You see, I’ve had a long standing love for bath time. And, just last year, I found out that Tina means tub in Latin America. This was equally traumatizing (Tubby Tina - a childhood name) and radically cool (because I love baths). So, as we gather here today, I need to ask you … Have you ever eaten in the bathtub? I have, and I love it. Frankly, I do it for 7 year old Tina - above. 1987 was rough, but my 40’s don’t have to be. Adult eating in the bathtub is very different from college where I shot-gunned beers in the shower stall and left a bag of Doritos on the windowsill near the mirrors so they would be ready to eat as I blowdried my hair. You have to give me some credit, I was 19, drunk, and I had a plan.

Aside from my dances with Doritos in my college dorm bathroom, I’ve eaten in my bed, in front of my refrigerator and kitchen sink. Don’t judge me, I know you have too. How do I know? We’re human, and we do things we don’t want to admit to others because it carries shame - but that’s not where I live anymore. Suffice to say, the bathtub is not only for bathing or dunking your kids as they terrifyingly splash you back and you’re not amused (after a long work day). It’s not only an object to clean on a Saturday morning with your hair in a top knot, as you sweat and your knees become sore from bending and kneeling. Sure, it’s for drinking wine and reading, but its possibilities are far greater. Wild. The bathtub is truly an oasis of dreams; a hot bed for thinking, and changing the mind. One day, alone, during the pandemic, I made peace with bread in a bathtub. And if you don’t eat bread, you’re missing out, unless, of course, you're gluten intolerant. Then, I’m sorry. And if you don’t have a bathtub, I urge you to put on your underwear and eat bread (or any “forbidden food,” for that matter) on your couch. I promise this is the first step to tasting food and healing yourself in your skin. We’re here to enjoy life, food, and ourselves without waistbands getting in the way. This is freedom. And, often, when we free one part of ourselves, other parts effortlessly follow.

Why do we wait to free ourselves? To give ourselves pleasure? To be seduced? Seduce yourself. You know what’s seductive? Hot. Buttered. Bread. In the bathtub. Or, on a recliner, with thighs touching because they are in love. It’s romantic. Try it. 

For years I denied myself many pleasures, bread included. I thought I was smart and believed I might trick myself by replacing it with sweet potatoes. I love sweet potatoes, but talk about missing out on joy. Nothing replaces bread but a balanced love for it, and anything for that matter. There’s no replacing something or someone, food and people included, there’s only loving and enjoyment without attachment. Love and pleasure that’s healthy for the mind and heart.

I once worked with a young woman who confessed to “only eating breakfast or brunch on the weekends” when she had time. I was shocked. Skip a meal? Intentionally miss an opportunity to eat? And work instead? This concept evaded my brain (now I can say this, but 7 years ago I wouldn’t think twice about working through lunch, dinner or cancelling plans to work) that thinks of food as much as a man thinks about sex or butts, before a juicy one even walks on by. Very kindly, I said to her “You know, you don’t have to cook if you don’t have the time. Why don’t you order in diner breakfast on a Tuesday morning and go for it on a weekday?” She was silent.

I often think about when I feel most in touch with myself; and it’s when I’m experiencing an intimate moment. When I can be all of me in the most uninhibited way and that is pleasure. This happens in secret moments of aloneness (read: bathtub bread) or in connected conversation (read: with friends, family or even strangers).

When do you feel most in touch with yourself? If you’re a guy (thanks for signing up, Uncle Al, Freddy, Tommy and Andrew), this goes for you too. When do you feel like you? Are you sampling french fries? Listening to music? Maybe you do wanna eat a hamburger in the bathtub?

Go do those things that make you feel alive, filled with joy and pleasure. 

When I realized cooking and eating could be intimate, creative, quirky, playful, simple and given to myself anywhere, anytime in any outfit I wanted (not only on a date or with my friends and family), my world shifted. This week, take yourself on a date, in your home, or make a breakfast spread for 6 and eat your way through it for two days. Don’t deny yourself. Life is too short. And if you’re like me and you shared your fresh baked bread, fully clothed with someone you dated and slept apart from; it’s an even greater reason to give yourself a do over and make a new memory.

Now, please go listen to Usher’s Love In This Club and sing - I Wanna Eat Bread In This Tub - on repeat. With wild abandon.
XO
Tina