With Love From Tina: It’s your time to slow down, feel and eat

Dear Reader,

It’s been about 1 month since my last newsletter, and I’ve been navigating a lot of different emotions and feelings since leaving my parents house and returning to New York. In what’s felt like a whirlwind of change, I’m remembering that I am my own constant. How do you ground yourself in times of change? I’m all for discipline, process and routine - a huge fan, in fact - but am finding, much like seasons change, my needs also have to be met differently right now. Have you ever felt that way? Like your routine is no longer working for you where you are?

It can be hard to sit with ourselves and really tap into how we feel, but a few weeks ago I listened to a fantastic podcast with Dr. Rangan Chaterjee and his guest, Buddhist Monk and author, Haemin Sunim. Turns out, they had some pretty decent nuggies of wisdom. On the podcast, Sunim discussed his perspective on choice and his book “When Things Don’t Go Your Way: Zen Wisdom in Difficult Times.” He talked about presence and checking in with ourselves when we feel disconnected from our emotions; something many of us already know about but find difficult to apply to our daily lives. There was something about hearing Chaterjee and Sunim talk, in their peaceful voices, as they noted it only takes 90 seconds to make an emotional shift. We can make this shift by checking in with our body instead of running away, blocking or distracting ourselves. So, I want to ask, in 90 seconds, how might you be able to understand your emotions? Or can you let go of that very emotion you turned inward to confront?

Now, the monk and the good doctor did not talk about what we should do when hard moments pile up like a 3 car collision, but I’m going to imagine, as I’ve learned, that the more I check in with myself, the less space anger, fear and sadness occupy in my body, mind and heart. As it turns out, feeling our feelings and letting them go is the key to maintaining presence. As we go inside, our challenges become less burdensome. Perhaps not necessarily easier to handle - but more clear to handle.

I’ve been back in NYC for about 3 weeks and while I’ve departed from my regular routines; I also returned to news with regard to the health of family members, a death and, today, my dad taking a fall. The energy of NYC is fiery and fast, much more electric than Oaxaca and Myrtle Beach. This energy, combined with a change of environment and circumstances, has left me navigating new emotions and testing my emotional capacity for what I believe to be the better; for growth. It has left me with nothing but a need to accept change and not resist it.

Much like trees change color, lose their leaves and go through a period of waiting, we humans do too. I realized that balancing my own energy and the energy around me is important. What can you do to balance the energy around you? During seasons of change, it’s important to give ourselves Grace. Can you give yourself the gift of grace and find new ways to meet your needs while also loving and meeting the needs of others? 

What if we said, today I will wake up and pray? Today I will wake up and take one child’s pose or I will write one sentence in my journal. What if we all took one big breath in and LET IT OUT? Can you, can I, can we - change our pace and the way we do things; temporarily and for love? Can we see change, even if it’s hard, as a blessing? Can we frame waiting and not knowing as a part of the journey to finding a greater part of our self?

No day will ever be the same, so let’s invite ourselves into our bodies for at least 90 seconds (thank you, Mr. Monk) and be open to reset. Reset that emotion, reset that routine, reset that fear. Maybe that one breath, one sentence, one thought of gratitude or love - can change our entire daily outlook? Maybe the hard times are opportunities to love more and change the course of someone’s life? Maybe it’s not about our routine and what we want, but what God and the universe need from us?

And while we all adapt to changing seasons, the demands of our life that are constantly in flux; work, aging parents, finances and relationships; we can find new ways to be in the process. There will always be meals to share and a table for us to sit around if we choose to make that time. I’m still in the process of writing all of the stories and recipes I made in my 5 weeks down south with my family, but I’m looking forward to sharing one with you today and more, of course, in the following newsletters. 

With Love,
XOXOX
Tina

PS: Don’t go thinking I don’t freak out. Because I am the Queen of le Freak and it is not c’est chic. I am completely human and imperfect. We are all perfectly imperfect and often doubt our human capacity and ability to transcend how we feel and/or how we view moments of our life. The important part is to continue working on ourselves, our views and to seek the support we need. I am forever grateful to friends and family who listen; to my journal pages that do not judge me but, rather, hold the contents of my mind so I do not have to. I pray you all find a moment of Grace in your day.