Inside My Journal: A January Excerpt

Yoga has taught me much more than how to do a pose; it’s taught me how to move away from my head and into my heart - to see more than my body and see inner strength. To see the wholeness of my story.

Yesterday marked my 9 month Yoga-versary. That’s 9 months of almost daily practice, a commitment I never imagined I would keep to myself. A commitment longer than any romantic relationship, but I suppose my yoga story is one of love and romance too. Just with myself. And, if people can celebrate their babies month to month, who am I to not celebrate a commitment to self-love?

Every day since I started to practice has been a new learning in trust, looking at myself, my ways, what I am accepting, what I would like to let go, reframing and understanding. Yoga has taught me much more than how to do a pose; it’s taught me how to move away from my head and into my heart - to see more than my body and see inner strength. To see the wholeness of my story. To no longer seek approval in so many areas of my life. It has shown me patience, determination, and beauty in imperfection. It has shown me that my physical body was only limited by my mental fortitude, not by my excess skin and silicone boobies that have a way of, well, getting in the way.

I have been gifted friends, new experiences, the bravery to write, the confidence to speak, share, the gift of compassion and forgiveness for myself and others. I feel kinder inside. More in tune with the world, I guess? I also know it’s only the beginning. I am leaving behind old thoughts and letting life flow in God’s time and the universes time. I’m just here listening. Listening to God and the universe as they talk to me and a bunch of familiar faces and strangers walk me home to myself.

Some days I still fall down. Ok, a lot of days. But I don’t get nearly as embarrassed or feel shame. I’m proud I tired. And, when I get stuck on or fall out of a pose, I am quickly reminded to not be obstinate or get frustrated because I will physically hurt myself if I push too hard. Now I can recall this learning every time something doesn’t go my way - in life - in everything. I know how to walk away. How leave things alone or let go - instead of forcing it or myself. I realized I don’t push anymore. I remain optimistic and excited to grow - to walk through doors as they open, with love, and to get stronger in my mind and heart. Without these rewards I wouldn’t be showing up everyday to life in the same way. In a new way. Life doesn’t always go according to our plans, but if we learn to adapt and really think about the lesson we’re being shown - then we soon recognize things are in fact going the right way.

Here is to trusting more; to self-love, growth, strength and heart. As I walk new paths and explore new ways of living, I trust that everything is working out as it is supposed to. That everything is really working out in all of our favor, as long as we listen to the knowledge of our heart. I am so fortunate and thankful. What a ride. Amen.